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AUTUM​/​NIL/ [MIXTAPE]

by ROMANTIC

/
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1.
I can barely make out your face You’re getting more distant Receding, receding Are you facing me? Is it your back I see? I can't see you Only black I can't see you In endless night My dreams of dying Are all that's left Dream on, there's more left for me Expanding blackness, torturing Abstract form Is it you, Or am I alone again? Kill me
2.
I step further into the forest The breeze reminds me why I'm here A history of failure surrounds me It’s not terror I feel (At least) not for much longer Ropes and landmarkers of a past without reason I've camped in this wood The meaning is lost On these grounds of sour bliss Where agony once stood Dissolved into the soil And made the earth Fruitful Roots of loneliness, rich with blood and tears All forgotten fears I scream to The, remember Remember me in your soil Desolation and turmoil Nurturing life You are not afraid, and neither am I The end is near “Treetops sway and then nothing”
3.
Illusions of safety, This home is no longer. Stripped from the comfort Of pale armed immunity These walls are decaying Barren and hopeless These walls are decaying Lucid, backward revelries I see the water outside, Guarding insecurities Time breaker, life ruiner House me again with your crippling eyes Comfort me again with your horrid lies I thought I was home, Complacent disdain Drugs my thoughts With repercussions of terror Lock me in your doors
4.
Faces in the fire Starring back at me Weeping and crying Crackle, set ablaze Purpose by burning Pleasure in their decay Rot away (x3) Faces of the wood Tortured and misunderstood Crying to exist In a world that persists On proclaiming Corpses as gods Feed me to your flame Free me from this prison Of my physical being That is torn and repeating Rot away (x3)
5.
6.
Fluid and flowing Dark lather of night Your song brings me to tears Knowing your wind’s sigh Knowing your fallen eyes Have fallen on me And now I see You've seen me In this despair And sullen cloak Liquid drenched vinyl coat Rain defender, rain soaked stranger Make me forget the hope Of a sun that won’t burn out Carry me with all my regrets Rain defender (defend) Your time is up It's morning now The sun's come up
7.
I know I’m blind To the gifts of your lost eyes I wish I could see like you Abstract colors, blurred in front of me That deviate from my physical self Prevents the sharpness That only your eyes can see When you look at me. Blisters prevent my grip From seizing what presents itself Gloves might help But they'd only disguise What lacks beneath my surface Grey reflections Darkened and unsaturated Are they actually here Or just lost on deaf ears? It remains unclear I wish I could see The way you see the light Differs from my gaze I'm blackened and bruised Carnal refuse [EPILOGUE] The borders of the mirror Crop from the center And I'll never see What's become of me Remind me that the light hasn't died... Yet
8.
(Whether my eyes are closed or they open, it’s the same thing, It’s the same thing. I breath the same thing when I’m laying in the ocean. When they closed, or they’re open it’s just the same thing, I breath the same thing. When I’m laying in the ocean) White walls are painted Layer of something Not absence in nothing Not un-held yet I’ll wait to release Tattered, unsheathed Breathless and cold Real light doesn't blind me Embraced, I’m cradling (Nothing ever happens, nothing ever happens. Life begins then it ends and it’s so tragic. Nothing ever happens, nothing ever happens. Life begins then it ends, it’s just so tragic) Wrapped in my comfortable shell Hiding a horrid anxiety Of failure Holding again until the real light Take me away from this agony Anguish, extinguished Depression is numbed But held by loose fingers Your temporary hold on me I don't feel the cold I don’t feel the cold, When I feel your real light (I wonder what my life is like, wonder what my life is like, wonder what my knife is like. Not afraid to climb the heights, wonder what my life is like) Now I feel the cold Gripping me with light (When they’re closed or they open, it’s all the same thing. It’s all the same thing cuz we breath the same thing. When they’re closed or open, it’s all the same thing, it’s all the same thing. And we breath the same thing. From the ocean. Nothing ever happens, nothing ever happens, life begins and it ends and it ends so tragic. Nothing ever happens, nothing ever happens, break the rules of life and I turned into matter. I wonder what my life is like, I wonder what my knife is like. Let’s get it, climb the heights. In the dark, where you gonna find the light?)
9.

about

AUTUM/NIL/ was written and released in 2015 in much despair and disillusion in Beacon, NY. Per popular request, the demo has again been made publicly available.

credits

released December 21, 2015

Beats produced by nvrmore, dead spirit, XAN, cat soup, yung cortex, tundra, WRKTNGL, and pnkblnkt

Jimmy V featured on track #8 Real Light

Mixed / Mastered by pboy

Lyrics, vocals, and field recordings by ROMANTIC

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all rights reserved

tags

about

ROMANTIC Hudson, New York

\rō-ˈman-tik, rə-\
1. having no basis in fact
2. impractical in conception or plan
3. the imaginative or emotional appeal

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